Well we have had quite the week here at the Simpson household. It all began last Monday when we treated our sweet kitty Sydney for fleas. And then she proceeded to have a severe reaction that prompted some seriously panicked Simpson’s. And at one point it involved me turning around to see Clint holding her and her face was covered in fleas. Getting that image out of my head has not been easy. I basically spent the day taking deep breaths and holding in the tears. Thankfully, our little Sydney is fine now but she definitely left me feeling a bit on edge for the next few days. So much so in fact that the next day this happened…
I’m sitting at our kitchen table working on my laptop when all of a sudden a big poof of ashes come flying out of our fireplace. I had the door to our porch open so I kind of just assumed it was a gust of wind that came in through the door and caused it. So I go over and close the door then grab the dust buster to clean up the ashes. I’m cleaning away when I look inside the fireplace and see a dead bird! A dead bird. A bird, that is dead, in my home. I ran over to our kitchen table, perched myself onto of a chair and had a good old case of the grossed out chills. In between panicked phone calls to my mom and Clint (who was out in Cherrypoint for the day and therefore several hours away from being able to assist me in my latest conundrum) I went up to the front office where I told the woman working “Um, a dead bird just fell in my fireplace and I can’t deal with this stuff.” She sent a maintenance man to come help me out and gave me a “Oh, you poor thing!” So I head back to my apartment, still unable to even go close to the fireplace. Then I realize that Sex and the City is what’s playing on the television and immediately imagine a horrible situation where the man comes to remove our dead bird all the while something completely inappropriate is occurring on the tv, I have to change the channel. But the remote is on the couch, near the fireplace, and therefore completely out of the question. I decided to let the potential Sex and the City awkwardness go and just focus on making our lil’ home dead bird free. So the man finally gets to my apartment, empty-handed mind you, and asks if I have a trash bag or something. So I go over grab a trash bag and walk back over to see the man reaching right on into the fireplace. OH MY GOSH HE’S GOING TO PICK UP THE DEAD BIRD WITH THIS BAREHANDS!! AND THEN HE’S GOING TO PUT IT IN MY OPEN TRASHBAG!! I CAN’T FEEL THE WEIGHT OF THE BIRD!! 5 seconds of absolute panic. And then I’m told “I don’t see anything in here” Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. What’s going on?!! “There’s just this log in here” Oh my gosh, make me disappear. I hesitantly walked over to the fireplace, kind of still expecting for that maybe not-so-dead bird to come shooting out of my fireplace, and I see the log. The log that if you look at it just the right way, looks just like a dead bird. I apologized to the maintenance man and explained that “I’ve just been having one of those weeks, ya know, and now apparently I’m seeing dead birds.” I’m fairly certain he walked back up to the office and had a chuckle with the woman who had previously felt a bit of pity on me. So there I sat in my apartment, a little bit embarrassed, a whole lot relieved, and along side my dead bird log.
Here’s the rest of what’s been going on…
-I actually managed to mess up making ramen noodles. I’m not sure what happened but they were seriously bad. I’m not quite sure how one is capable of cooking dinner every single night yet can’t properly prepare ramen noodles.
-I am not a good window shopper. Over the weekend Clint and I made our way to the mall because I had to return something and then we just walked around and “window shopped” but I’ll just say this. I hate window shopping. I’m no good at it and it just makes me sad. I actually want new boots, I don’t want to just look at them
-Part of us ridding our home of fleas was Borax-ing our home. This involved pouring a powder all over everything. Our floor, our furniture, it was everywhere. And it left me seriously overwhelmed. And when I was woken up at 7:30 the following morning to “wake up and vacuum” I was less than thrilled. So I vacuumed the entire apartment and the furniture and then was left to clean up the dust that had made its way onto every last surface, and I’m fairly certain, into my body. Apparently one is supposed to wear a mask when cleaning up Borax because the dust can be dangerous. I learned that tidbit after spending an entire day in bed with what I’m assuming was a Borax-induced migraine. Just fabulous.
-I learned through sleep. It was accidental but it happened. After the hours I spent vacuuming the apartment I took myself a little nap on the couch while watching The View. In my dream I was on Who Want’s to Be a Millionaire and I was doing some serious work. When I woke up I thought to myself, a Yall is a boat. And I have no idea how I know that! Then when the commercial break was over on tv I realized that Who Want’s to Be a Millionaire was currently on. So I pondered, and then I put that DVR to good use and rewound through the program to discover that in fact one of the questions was about what a yall is! I learned, while I slept! And now I know what a yall is.
-My husband got in bed the other night with a container of Oreo’s. I’ve taught him my ways. :]
-After weeks of Baseball and Debates and Election coverage my tv shows are finally getting back to normal. Parenthood is back tonight and I am excited!
What’s been awkward and awesome with you all lately?