Awkward and Awesome.

Apparently I took myself a nice little Bloggy Break. No worries though, the Mister and I are doing fab-u-lous. One of us is still unemployed, one of us is still overworked, and both of us remain incredibly thankful for our sweet little life together. And despite the fact that I just got over ambitious with my freshly brewed cup of hot chocolate, we’re talking raised lumpy things on the roof of my mouth here, people, I am feeling more and more excited for the Holidays.

Here’s what’s been awkward and awesome lately…

Awkward.

-The other night Clint was out back behind our building collecting firewood. In basic terms this means he was walking around in the dark with an ax. Maybe a minute after he came back inside we saw several cop cars patrolling the area around our apartment. Apparently someone was creeped out just enough to call the cops on my favorite eagle scout. On a side note to this: Clint then just left the ax outside our front door rather than putting it in the storage on our porch… because evidently we like to give people the tools they need to break in.

-A school bus from “primary beginnings” which I’ll just assume is some sort of preschool, was driving behind me yesterday and nearly ran me off the road. I’ll just go ahead and assume that none of those children’s parent’s would appreciate that, that little bus was going 55 in a 45. And I’m just gonna throw it out there that I didn’t care for that guys lane change. You turn the blinker on, then you change the lane, not when you’re half way changed, buddy.

-So I’m walking down the aisle in CVS when I kind of sense that someone is walking like really close to me. I did myself a little quick step and glance behind me and see a little girl. She was probably around five, completely unsupervised, and wearing what I’m going to refer to as, a child bride cult dress. You know the kind? A lace collar, a washed out pastel blue color, just all around creepy. This little child-bride girl then proceeded to follow me all. over. CVS. I was dodging in and out of aisles and everything. I thought it was going to become my John Quinones moment… and I was going to be the person who ran away from the young child bride seeking help.

-We tried to be kind, generous people and put some money in the Salvation Army red kettle outside of Harris Teeter but ohhhh no. It’s never that easy. From the time we pulled in to the time we walked up to the front door they had taken that kettle down! We tried, we failed, and that particular bell-ringer definitely ended his shift a bit early.. pretty sure the wrap it up time isn’t 6:37.

-In true Pinterest fashion I began by looking for recipes and wound up reading an article about what convicted rapists/abductors look for in their targets. Now let me tell you something, you should NEVER read these articles. All they do is convince you that you are destined to get abducted. Seeing as someone attempted to snatch me up in college I’m hopeful this means my run-in with abductors is now done and over with. But I’m also considering chopping all my hair off, wearing more than 2 layers at all times, never walking in a grocery store parking lot ever again, and wearing a sign that says “I have mace.”

 

Awesome.

-I bought my Christmas sweater today! I am so excited about it.

-I have finally learned how to drive Clint’s car. Take that straight drive. There have been a handful of failed driving lessons but last week I decided to stop freaking out every time the car got above 2nd gear, and I actually managed to drive, on real roads, with lines, and stop lights, and other cars. It was magical. And then two days later I stalled at a traffic-y stop light and proceeded to freak out and yell at Clint (cause that makes sense).

-Christmas commercials. They are THE BEST. And seriously, JCP, you are doing it right this year.

 

What’s been awkward & awesome lately?

 

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2 thoughts on “Awkward and Awesome.

  1. Why do you always have more awkward than awesome?

    Awkward: Wearing a super cute holiday sweater to work on casual Friday. Gleaming with happiness I sit there for 5 minutes before someone else finally comes in for the day. This person walks over by me, looks at my sweater, and says “Oh by the way, we are having an ugly sweater contest next Thursday”…..what is that supposed to mean!?

    Awesome: Christmas is in 1 week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂

  2. I feel like once you put your rolled up single dollar bill into that red metal pail your done. Nope….everytime I go to Harris Teeter that same guy is there. I guess I do expect him to remember me….why not…I’m only there 500 times a week and know everyone by their first names. Come on buddy…give this lady a brake. T’s the season to be Jolly!!

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